Yesterday, Allison, Sarah, Melody, and I went to Steve and Shelly's house.
"So, let's review," I said."Kate Novack has motive to murder Jason Lawrence. She also has a history of making accusations against Jason. However, witnesses claimed they saw Jason jump off a bridge. Shelly thinks Kate is the serial killer who's killing trans people. What do you all think?"
"The only thing Kate Novack and the Trans Killer have in common is that they're both good at covering their tracks," Sarah said. "However, there's nothing connecting her to the killings of trans people. There is, however, a connection between Jason and Kate."
"What about that cult?" Melody asked. "They had a serial killer once, but he committed suicide while in jail."
"I can fill you in on that," Allison said. "Since Daddy Brian is a cop, I can fill you in on the cult. The cult's serial killer, George Barter, didn't target trans people. He killed anyone who wasn't cisgender, straight, or White. There's nothing in the cult's scriptures about killing or discrimination. The only thing this cult is guilty of is drug trafficking."
"So, the cult is a front for drug trafficking," Steve said.
"Yes, but there's more to it than that. The founders of the cult created it to get people hooked on drugs."
"So, it's possible that some random transphobe was inspired by George Barter to kill trans people," I said.
"Do you know what the cult believes in?" Sarah asked. "It could be a clue."
"They worship a moon goddess named Selena," Allison said. "She's often depicted as a young woman, but she protects her worshippers like a mother. Selena hid her face because anybody who sees it would go insane. So, Selena was either very beautiful or ugly. Some of the women wear veils or masks during sermons to feel closer to Selena."
"Great, somebody was inspired by Islam to create a cult," Sarah said. "It was bad enough that all Muslims were deemed terrorists after 9/11."
"So, we're back to square one," I said. "Fuck us."
"Why hasn't the RNC or RCMP found out who created that fake Facebook account with Allison's name on it?" Sarah asked.
"It's because we're Canadian and Facebook is an American company," Allison said. "The odds of either police force getting a search warrant for an American company are none to negative infinity."
"I think we should take a break," Shelly said. "It will clear our heads."
"My parents are babysitting Josh and Scott," Steve said. "I'd say we get drunk and stoned."
"We can head down to George Street," Shelly said.
"I don't think I can," Sarah said. "George Street is too expensive."
"That's too bad," Allison said. "I haven't sung karaoke in years."
"We have a karaoke machine," Melody said. "I can bring it here."
"That sounds like fun," Shelly said. "Fuck it! I'm gonna go buy some booze and weed."
While Shelly was out getting booze and weed, and Melody was getting her karaoke machine, I saw Allison typing away on her phone.
"Who are you texting?" Sarah asked.
"Nobody," Allison said. "I'm just writing a story."
"Can we read it?" Steve asked.
"Sure. I'll post it in the group chat when I'm done."
As soon as Shelly and Melody returned, we sang karaoke while drunk and stoned. Just for fun, I made a playlist based on the songs we sang. Melody and Sarah sang "Angel" by Aerosmith. It made sense since it was their wedding song. They also sang individually. Sarah sang "Save Me" by Remy Zero. Melody sang "Money For Nothing" by Dire Straits. I sang "Cult of Personality" by Living Colour and "Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit. I'm a huge wrestling fan, and both songs were used in wrestling. Allison sang "One Way or Another" by Blondie and "Every Breath You Take" by The Police. Steve's song choices were "Hell" by Squirrel Nut Zippers and "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga. Shelly sang "I Wish" by R. Kelly and "Mother" by John Lennon.
"I can't believe you sang an R. Kelly song," Melody said.
"Hey, the song is so good, I can actually separate the art from the artist," Shelly said.
"I just realized something," Steve said. "We haven't sung a song from the Gen Z era. We are so old."
"We're not old, babe. We're only pushing 30. Well, I am. You're already 30."
"See? I'm old!"
"I just realized something," Steve said. "We haven't sung a song from the Gen Z era. We are so old."
"We're not old, babe. We're only pushing 30. Well, I am. You're already 30."
"See? I'm old!"
"I just thought of something," I said. "You're considered young in your 20s and middle-aged in your 40s. What the fuck do we call ourselves in our 30s?"
"You're the writer here," Melody said. "Make something up."
"I can't. I'm too fucking stoned."
"How high are you?" Melody asked.
"I'm higher than inflation."
These are the types of conversations we all had until 2:00 in the morning. By that time, we all just crashed at Steve and Shelly's house.
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